Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Newsletter XVIII - The Meaning of Mindfulness

Dearest Friends:
We have heard the phrase a million times, “Be mindful. Be present. Be in the NOW.” However, what does it mean? More importantly, how is it possible to achieve mindfulness in a world in which clocks are ticking as we run, multi-task, and swing to past and future thinking as if we're an untamed monkey in the trees?

Frankly, I never understood the concept of mindfulness until I was forced to experience it about 20 years ago while on a snowy ski slope in Park City, Utah. I was in a group skiing class with three other men and two women. The wind was scattering powder-like snow, similar to my scattered thoughts that were being tossed around regarding the events of yesterday and what I needed to accomplish tomorrow; thus, I didn’t really comprehend the instructions that my ski instructor was directing at me. I couldn’t seem to concentrate on what he was saying when he corrected the way in which I was swinging my arms and body from side to side when I skied. Finally, in exasperation and with a raised voice, he blurted, “Just do this ONE THING. Imagine that your belly button is a flashlight shining the way straight down the hill. Think of NOTHING ELSE.” I was embarrassed but motivated to accomplish whatever it was he expected me to do---but focus on ONE THING? I wanted to ask, “Are you kidding?”

I seemed to instinctively inhale and exhale a few deep breaths that grounded me to the earth beneath my feet, and then I rehearsed the words aloud before I proceeded down the hill, “Belly button—flashlight—belly button—flashlight.“ My thoughts of yesterday’s events and tomorrow’s tasks and worries dissipated as if they were zapped away by a bolt of lightning. Determined, I pushed off down the hill, focused only on my belly button that was a flashlight while repeating “belly button—flashlight—belly button—flashlight.” I was able to visualize the flashlight shining its beam ahead of me—leading me straight down the hill and not from side to side. As a result, my arms and body were no longer turning and swinging. Soon, this exercise was not external to me but rather, one with me. There was no distinction between me as the subject, object and action. I was acutely aware, conscious and awake, and the experience was so fully lived, exhilarating and penetrating that I seemed to feel it vibrating in every cell of my body. I also realized, much to my chagrin, that I had compromised most of my life experiences by thoughts that distracted me from experiencing the moment.

We only have this wondrous moment that is here and NOW. The past is gone. The future may not come. To miss the moment of NOW is to miss out on the experience of living. For example, how often have we eaten a meal and not experienced it because we were distracted by our past and future thinking about other things? How often have we walked or traveled and not seen the beauty around us because we were past and future thinking? How many accidents or other tragic events occur because of this obsessive past and future thinking? How often are we simply not mindful about what is in front of our face?

Mindfulness takes practice; fortunately, we can immediately begin to practice mindfulness without formal training, which is of benefit to everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, age, and spiritual or religious affiliation. Our children, in particular, need to learn mindfulness before they develop a scattered and undisciplined mind. We should also honor their mindfulness, rather than constantly distract them. We all benefit by the practice of being conscious and awake in our daily lives, and thus, it is prudent to practice mindfulness. One of the first things we need to learn to do is to move calmly and slowly, never in a hurry to achieve an outcome. For many of us, this is an arduous task, and we need to re-learn our fast paced behavior as if having to get out our bike with the training wheels.

For example, I was considered to be, at one time, a speed walker. My son, Colby, who was an ODP (Olympic Development Player), grabbed me by the back of my shirt more times than I can count en route to a soccer game in an attempt to slow me down. He simply couldn’t keep up with me! Because I was outcome oriented, focused on “arrival” at the soccer field in as little time as possible, I missed the step by step process of the journey. I was nearly deaf, dumb and blind to each moment and to the world around me. What if my thought, instead, would have been, “I am on the path to the soccer field?” Think of all the beauty I would have experienced with my son along the way!

Mindfulness is present moment by moment awareness and noticing change in one’s inner self. It is nonconceptual, unbiased observation without judgment or criticism. It is mirror-thought and reflects exactly what is happening now. In order to be mindful, we need to forget about future outcome and focus on the moment. We choose to BE instead of DO. In other words, we do not hurry and wash a cup so we can drink a cup of tea. We wash the cup to wash the cup. We experience what it is like to wash a cup and become one with the experience. We see every detail of the cup and how we care for it by washing. If our mind starts to wander to past and future thinking, we simply bring ourselves back to washing the cup by saying, “I am washing the cup now.” We do not hurry and take a 5 minute shower so we can get dressed to dash out the door and go to work. We take a shower to take a shower. We experience what it is like to take a shower and become one with the experience. We experience the wonder of it, and if we have hot water, we savor it even more. If our mind wanders to past and future thinking, we bring ourselves back to taking a shower by saying, “I am taking a shower now.” (I once needed to take a shower and wash my hair in an outdoor shower in the Himalayas in 0 degree weather. Since that time, I have absolutely savored hot water.) We take a bath to take a bath. If our mind wanders to past and future thinking, we simply return to our bath by saying, “I am taking a bath now.” By practicing mindfulness in this way, the feeling that a task is a bother or a nuisance will disappear.

It is wonderful to believe that the moment is our friend, no matter what the circumstance. The here and NOW moment is all we will ever have, because it truly is all that we have. Every experience we had in the past was experienced in the NOW. Everything we experience in the future will be in the NOW; thus, it behooves us to make NOW the primary focus and joy of our life. After all, nothing could be more perfect than right now---this very moment.

Love-light,
Carol
http://www.carolwilson.org/

Copyright © 2009, Carol A. Wilson.