Dearest Friends:
I was prompted to write this newsletter now because of an experience I had yesterday when I telephoned one of my former students who now lives back east. At one point in our conversation he said, “I don’t mean to change the subject, but do you remember the crystal you gave to me?” I had to think for a second but yes, I remember the day he moved away. He came by to say good-by, and I told him that I was going to give him a book. He said he had no where to put it—he was flying, and his suitcases were bulging—all he had was his pocket. Thus, I went into the other room and found my Reiki crystal grid that I had empowered for so many years. I picked up one of the quartz crystals, carried it to the living room, and gave it to him. “Yes”, I said on the phone. “I remember.” Then he replied, “I have slept with that crystal every night. I sleep with it on my chest. It helps me.”
Later that night, as I was falling asleep, I was so touched at his deep appreciation for this crystal—this powerful and living consciousness--that I felt tears welling. Then I reflected upon the enigma that is characteristic of so much of what we know as human behavior---how people can deeply appreciate a very small gesture but yet others will appreciate nothing, even when enormous efforts are taken. Attitudes are certainly influenced by values of our society, I thought---the instant gratification phenomenon, and the “keep up with the Jones’s” mentality, due in part, by the power of our media. However, I also concluded that much of our literature doesn’t encourage the value of gratitude and appreciation. For example, look at Shel Silverstein’s beloved book The Giving Tree. The story begins, “Once there was a tree…and she loved a little boy.” “Every day the boy would come to the tree to eat her apples, swing from her branches, or slide down her trunk . . . and the tree was happy. But as the boy grew older he began to want more from the tree, and the tree gave and gave.”
Teachers, mothers, caregivers and children themselves read this book and admire the self- sacrificing and generous nature of the Giving Tree. However, the reality is that she gave the boy all of her apples, and he wasn’t happy. He wanted more. She gave him all of her branches that had provided climbing and shade, and the boy still wasn’t happy. He wanted more. She gave him her trunk so he could build a canoe. And, he still wasn’t happy. At the end of the book, he is a disgruntled, unhappy old man sitting on her remaining tree stump. The moral of the story is supposed to be that we are able to have serene acceptance of another’s capacity (or shall we say incapacity) to love in return. But, what is this story really about? My perception is that The Giving Tree is about enabling and co-dependency! If people would view the book in this manner, it provides an astute, insightful, and educational message. The Giving Tree did nothing to discourage what eventually developed into a man’s selfish and narcissistic behavior. Rather, she actually encouraged, enabled and reinforced that behavior by continuing to give him all that she had, believing that extrinsic “things” could make him happy. However, the proof is in the pudding: nothing she gave him created happiness. She unknowingly got involved in his pathology, and sadly, his problem soon became her problem. The book doesn’t disclose how truly devastated she must have felt at the conclusion of the story unless she was a Buddhist practitioner tree who transformed all of that trauma into wisdom during her meditations.
As you remember, when Jesus returned to Nazareth during his ministry and people were offended at what he had to say, he simply dusted off his feet and left. He didn’t waste his time with disgruntled people who didn’t appreciate him. Thus, too, the Giving Tree did not have to invest all that she had into someone who didn’t appreciate what she had to offer. In retrospect, she could have provided much for other people. There would have been others who would have appreciated her apples, her branches and her tree trunk. There surely who would have been another boy or old man who would have appreciated one of her apples. In fact, he might have even taken it home and slept with it on his chest.
AND, that moment would have been a memorable moment. You know, a moment that you will cherish when you look back and reflect upon your life--the moment after moment that soon accumulates to become collectible moments, of which Elisabeth Kubler-Ross spoke:
It’s very interesting when you look back at hundreds of dying patients—young and old. Not one of them has ever told me how many houses she had or how many handbags or sable coats. What they tell you of are very tiny, almost insignificant moments in their lives—where they went fishing with a child or they tell of privacy in an interpersonal relationship. These are the things that keep people going at the end…they remember little moments that they have long forgotten and they suddenly have a smile on their faces…they begin to reminisce about little memories that make their whole lives meaningful and worthwhile.
Therefore, as we near the Holiday Season, I look forward to collecting little memorable moments that I will hold near and dear to my heart--- like hearing that one of my students sleeps with my Reiki grid crystal on his chest. I also hope that we can continue to encourage others to collect memorable moments, also, recognizing the fine line between when someone else’s problem starts to becomes our problem and thus, an even bigger problem. We are of little use to others as healers if we are like the Giving Tree and our well goes dry with nothing left to give. Let us re-write her story. Afterall, there’s a whole world out there waiting for more light and love to dispel of the darkness. There might even be a disgruntled old man or other individual just waiting for you to not attempt to fulfill selfish needs but rather, to point your finger at his own Divine Essence so that—hopefully--hopefully--he might recognize it.
Love-Light
Carol
www.carolwilson.org
Copyright © 2007, Carol A. Wilson
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