Dearest Friends:
It is my aspiration in writing this entry that Hannah's life--and her memory--will be a teaching that continues to benefit all sentient beings impartially, without exception.
Hannah and Lama Ole Nydahl first traveled to Nepal in the 60’s on their honeymoon. It is there where their Buddhist roots were awakened when they met Lopon Tsechu Rinpoche; however, these roots were earlier recognized as children playing in the woods north of Copenhangen, Denmark where 5-year-old Hannah asked 10-year-old Ole to build a meditation hut for her out of tree branches.
In the 60’s, Buddhism had not arrived in the west; thus, translated texts were close to non-existent. Hannah proceeded to learn Tibetan in a slow, unfolding process and translated her meditation texts and Ngondro practices word for word, beginning with the prostration text. To practice speaking Tibetan, she and Ole stayed in Tibetan camps where no one knew how to speak English. They then became the first western students of His Holiness the 16th Karmarpa, Ranjung Rigpe Dorje, and after a few years, the Karmapa was very specific in his instructions to them that they return to Europe and work for the Dharma. Connecting the east to the west was vitally important to the Karmapa, and in order to do this, translators were also vitally important. Few Buddhist texts had been translated, and few teachers spoke English; thus, Hannah began translating for Tibetan lamas and Rinpoches. She and Ole also arranged large pilgrimage tours to the east, inviting as many as 100 people every year, which continued their contact with the east. Later in life, Hannah translated for the Tibetan teachers at the Karmarpa International Institute (KIBI) in New Delhi. His Holiness the 16th Karmapa had referred to her as the "Mother of Buddhism in the West"---and appropriately so.
Hannah experienced the vast depth and breadth of the Buddha’s teachings. “There is no end to them”, she once said, but the teachings always confirmed her belief in their truths, which progressively took her into deeper understanding, while at the same time seeing how those teachings benefitted herself and others. One of the greatest messages I heard from Hannah was that if you do not know the Dharma, “you tend to live in some unrealistic illusion and think that things are what they are; you give things a permanent existence, which they do not have. You may think something is wonderful, then suddenly it is not wonderful any more……the teachings say that we can understand impermanence by seeing how friends turn into enemies and enemies turn into friends…”
Hannah gave tirelessly of herself for the benefit of all sentient beings while traveling around the world, and the love people felt for her reminded me of the love that people felt for Mother Teresa. She was an amazing teacher--teaching best by the example that she set. She was egoless. So many times I saw her when she had had little sleep, and a “yawn” simply propelled her into the compassionate action of Green Tara. The last time I saw her was in November 2006 in San Diego. As I sat next to her at dinner, I knew she was seriously ill although many were telling me that she would be okay. I told her how I had received a copy of her recommended reading list (56 books, translated in English), and I vowed to read them all. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to obtain a copy of some of those books; thus, this has been quite the project. To date, I have read nearly 30 of them, which also requires study, contemplation and meditation and includes a few book reports that I have written, particularly in regard to Padmasambhava's teachings; however, completing this endeavor takes on additional meaning for me now because it seems to be a way in which I can honor Hannah and the Buddhadharma that was her life, which has also become the foundation of my own life. The teachings have penetrated very "deep", and I cannot express the windows that continue to open while obscurations fall by the wayside. Princess Mandarava and Yeshe Tosgyal are among my heroines now, and they were certainly feminists before the west knew the meaning of the word. It's impossible to believe that Lama Ole Nydahl wrote his book, The Great Seal, in the hospital following his parachutte fall where yes, he hit the ground. And Kalu Rinoche—to think he was a Khenpo at age 11 and spent 12 years in solitary retreat. I bow to these teachers and many more teachers whose blessings we receive from reading their words and integrating them--and their aspects--into our practice.
In the meantime, I had asked a select number of my students to support me and join with me in reciting prayers and mantras for Hannah. After three days my lungs started to fill with fluid, and whereas lung cancer was what was killing her, I saw this as a good sign but I couldn’t transform it so I had to stop. We sometimes simply cannot interfere with one’s karma or destined journey. My Tibetan Medical Astrologist Astronomer, Jhampa, reminded me that it is very common for women in Tibet to not live through their obstacle year of age 61. According to the Tibetan calendar conversion, Hannah was 61.
On March 31, 2006 (April 1 in Copenhagen), the day that Hannah left her body for Dewachen, the Pure Realm of Great Bliss, I seemed to know that I should cancel all of my plans for the day, and I sat in bed reading Gently Whispered by Kalu Rinpoche. I wanted to read the words of one of our Kagyu lineage teachers. When I got to Chapter 5, "Teachings on the Bardos of Death and Dying", I took a break and went over to my computer, which is when an email came through from Ole, asking us to say the mantra of Amitabha for Hannah--the Red Buddha of Limitless Light--because she would not live for more than a few hours. The visualization of Hannah with Amitabha at her head was so clear, and I was grateful that Ole allowed us to participate in her passing. Then I went back to Kalu Rinpoche. When Hannah left her body, I was reading Chapter 8, "Commentary on the Bodhisattva Vows", which was the ESSENCE of Hannah’s life—--living and honoring her Bodhisattva Vows. Ole then wrote a letter that included the words, “She returned to space, timeless and beautiful." Finally, "the finest gift to Hannah now is to continue your practice.”
What I will miss about Hannah the most are her occasional emails. They were better than Christmas. One email from her negated all of the junk emails that I receive. She was articulate to detail and would ask me specifics about dharma activity here in Utah. She would sign her emails MUCH love, and I could feel the transmission. She always answered my emails even when I told her not to because she was much too busy. The last words she spoke to me in San Diego were also her greatest teaching for me. I asked her if she missed anything. Afterall, she didn’t really have a home because she was always traveling around the world. I asked, “Don’t you miss Denmark?” She replied, “I don’t miss anything.” I quickly responded, “So, you are giving me a teaching on attachment, which is so difficult for women to dissolve.” She laughed and smiled that big, gracious smile of hers that always came from her heart. Thus, when I miss her flesh and bones that have no ultimate reality, I connect with her mind---I remember her words---and it is then that I am free from the grief of her physical absence.
Copyright @ 2007 by Carol A. Wilson
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